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Silent Joy - surrender to the silent joy
A loving smile covers my brother’s lips while calmly he watches his little daughter’s moves. Maegan is sitting on my lap and her velvet eyes lie on the tiny bundle that Bryn is holding in her arms. Our Brea has been born two weeks ago and this is the first time that we take her to be with us when we have all the crew around. Everyone in here has curiously been trying to steal a glance at her, but it’s Maegan who hasn’t left her side ever since we entered the galley. Now she sits on my knees and just watches my little one as if she were a miracle. But truth be spoken, at least to me, she is.
Carefully I shift the little redhead to not only make her sit a bit more comfortably, but also to enable her to get a better sight of her cousin. Maegan is three years old now – an age where kids sometimes cannot judge on how to best handle a newborn, but she does just great this evening. The majority of the time she simply watches her – only occasionally reaches out with her small hands as if she’d want to caress her, but right before her fingers can reach my little girl’s skin, she retracts them again - just like she was afraid that her touch might hurt her. I have noticed the warm smile that Bryn sends her way whenever she does that, and I know that she is right. If Maegan wanted to, she could close the little distance – we both know no harm would come from this, but still she hesitates. Her reluctance shows how much she already cares, and her loving gaze tells just how much she likes the little newborn that is my child.
Thus, slightly I lean forward and whisper to my little niece: “It’s okay if you want to caress her cheek a bit. I’m sure Brea would like this.” Her big brown eyes look at me for a moment, before she directs them to meet my wife’s sight. When Bryn nods silently at her and turns the sleeping form in her arms just a bit more towards the redhead, she reaches out with her hand again… And in the most careful way she strokes Brea’s rosy cheeks before shyly she takes it back and turns her head towards her parents to send them one of her little smiles. Sinbad and Maeve share a quick look that I have come to know all too well, before either of them nods at the little girl. I know they love Maegan more than they have ever loved anyone else in this world and the silent gaze they just shared was one everyone around here knows to understand for it was one of honest pride and joy.
Slowly I lean back on my seat as my thoughts then start to follow an old route that they have already taken often before.
Sinbad has never been as happy as he is today. When Maeve had come back from the hidden realm we had lost her to, my little brother’s smile had returned to his face – and the light that had always shone deep within him had lit up in his soul again. The day Maeve returned to once more become part of this crew was the day I got my brother back. In the last four years however, things again have changed and his smile has been replaced with a new and even brighter one. It is the one he wears now.
I close my eyes for a moment and take in all the sounds that surround me. The happy chatter of my friends, the feeling of my little niece sitting on my lap, and the knowledge of my wife and daughter being next to me flood my senses and I know that just like Sinbad’s my smile changed, too. Both our lives have taken new turns – and even though so much has stayed the same, it all feels like something completely new. But all those changes that took place have been for the better and as I open my eyes again, I notice Sinbad look at me and I know that he shares my thoughts. I can see in his gaze that he, too, is grateful – and glad.

There were times when I believed my life’s goal would be to look after him. I had never thought about starting an own family and I had never missed this perspective either. Sinbad has always been more than only a little brother to me, and I would have been content with simply being there for him. And when Maeve stepped onboard the Nomad these many years ago, I knew that my task had merely been extended. I had always seen myself as the protector of my little brother… and of his family. And I believed it would forever stay like this… Until the course of my own life changed.

Bryn and me, we both cannot remember when things started to become different between us, but in the end they had. And telling from all what I know now - from all what my eyes and my heart tell me – I know that this is one of the best things that have ever happened to me in my life.
Almost unnoticeably for anyone else I let my gaze meet Sinbad’s and in his oceanic blue eyes I can see that he is happy for me. He has been ever since he noticed the relationship between Bryn and me become something more than just the friendship we had shared before. He, out of all, knew best what was going on inside of me – he did maybe even before I, myself, realized what my heart had already decided on. And he stood by my side when our darkest hour stroke. When Bryn’s father revealed the truth to us and awoke her forgotten memories, Sinbad was the one who told me to not lose faith and instead keep fighting for the two of us. In this night he returned everything to me that I had ever done for him – he protected me this time and I know that so much of what I have today, I owe to no one else but him.
For long I had known that he felt guilty for the fact that I had not started my own family yet; knew that he believed that I sacrificed my life for his – no matter how often I had told him that this was all wrong; that in any case it was my own decision and that I, did I have to choose again, would follow this path once more.
Now these doubts and the guilt have vanished from his gaze because just as I, he knows that this path lead me to her.
And to our little daughter.

Brea sleeps contently in her mother’s arms. Her calm and steady breathing lets her chest rise and fall slowly while the loving eyes of her parents and cousin lie on her. Carefully sneaking my arm around Maegan, I reach out for my little girl and let my index find her tiny right hand. And just like every newborn does, instinctively she grabs it. Out of the corner of my eyes I see the little redhead on my lap stare in awe at the scene.
“You wanna try, too?”, I invite her with a small smile before I let her replace my finger with her small hand. Even though for a moment Brea stirs in her sleep, she doesn’t wake up and soon enough returns to her content slumber. I am convinced she senses the affection that her cousin shows towards her and when briefly I let my gaze meet with Bryn’s I know that she, too, feels that way.
“You can hold her if you want”, Bryn suddenly speaks calmly while her eyes leave my face to lie on Maegan’s. “But let Doubar help you.”
For a moment the little redhead just looks at my wife bluntly, as if she were afraid of what she was being offered. An insecure glance she then sends her parents’ way and only when she sees them smile encouragingly at her, she dares to let her head move in a shy nod. I straighten my back a little and just like my little niece, stretch out my arms while Bryn carefully lifts Brea to give her to us. Our hands meet while we make sure that our daughter rests securely in the arms of Maegan and me and I catch myself savouring this brief contact and the warm feeling it brings along. For a moment then I allow my gaze to seek Bryn’s before I shift it to lie on the little redhead that now holds my Brea safely in her small arms.
In my wife’s bright eyes I can see my own joy and love being reflected and slightly I frown as suddenly I realize all what this moment – what she and our little family really mean to me. Silently I mouth to her what my heart has known for so long now and which I know will never change, before finally my eyes leave her face to let my sight meet my little niece’s smile. Pride radiates all from her sweet features and somehow I am sure to know just what feelings she experiences now.
Contently I take in a deep breath and slowly lean backwards again, drawing my niece and daughter with me as I make us sit more comfortably. And when in the next moment I notice Bryn lay her head on my shoulder I feel a warmth spread inside me that is different from and more beautiful than any other I have ever experienced.
Gradually the happy chatter of my friends turns into a distant murmur while I let my head rest gently on my wife’s. I can sense the warm presence of my daughter lie between my arms; feel the careful and loving way in which Maegan holds her little cousin… and I feel Bryn being there with me. I am more content than I could have ever imagined to be, and allowing my senses to take in all of what the present offers me, I finally close my eyes and surrender to the silent joy that fills my heart… .
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guest

Cannot see any of the objects!!! smiley

ila88

come check this out: http://www.fanfiction.net
/s/8374432/1/ A new AOS fanfic smiley


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